The rise of thoughtful marketing: Compassion or assumption?
In recent years, brands have embraced ‘thoughtful marketing’. A movement designed to help customers opt out of sensitive messaging, such as Mother’s Day or Father’s Day reminders. The intention is: to show empathy and respect for those who may find receiving these topic-based communications and occasions difficult.
Bloom & Wild, a UK-based flower delivery company, pioneered this initiative in 2019. They noticed requests from customers to temporarily unsubscribe during Mother’s Day campaigns. The response apparently was overwhelming, prompting many major brands – including The Body Shop, Canva, and The Telegraph – to follow suit. Of course, given Bloom & Wild‘s offerings and the sentimental reasons behind sending flowers, this initiative seems entirely logical and appropriate. However, I question whether it suits all brands. On the surface, this seems like a considerate and customer-centric approach. But is this new form of marketing truly helpful? Has it evolved into an assumption-driven model that inadvertently causes the distress it seeks to divert?
A personal perspective: The problem with opt-out assumptions
I lost my mum in December 2023 under difficult circumstances. Since then, my inbox has been flooded with opt-out reminders for Mother’s Day promotions. The sheer volume of these emails has left me questioning the very nature of this so-called ‘thoughtful marketing’.
For me, each message serves as a painful reminder of my loss. These brands are assuming that I need to be guided through my grief. But here’s the thing – I already know how to opt out. I always have. And every brand must legally provide this. Like others who have experienced loss, I don‘t need brands to manage decisions I am capable of making myself! Instead of making me feel supported, these reminders reinforce the very thing I’m trying to navigate at my own pace. This is my loss and I will decide when I am ready to accept this. They have no right to assume that they can.
Although claimed to be well-intended, this approach raises an important question. Is offering an opt-out for the loss of a parent or loved one necessary? Does it help or support? Or does it inadvertently become another way of managing a deeply personal experience on behalf of the customer? And, becomes an intrusion of my privacy and my timeline to decide when I am ready to let go!
Are brands getting it right? It’s a fine line
From a marketing perspective, there’s no doubt that brands benefit from a human-centric approach and strategy. Studies show that customers who opt out of certain messaging tend to remain more engaged with a brand in the long run. Bloom & Wild’s research revealed that customers who used their opt-out feature had a lifetime value 1.7 times higher than those who didn’t.
While this data is compelling, it doesn’t account for the emotional impact of mass opt-out campaigns by pretending to be personally emotive. Thoughtful marketing is effective when it genuinely respects customer choice. But when it becomes a blanket strategy applied to everyone, it risks feeling intrusive rather than supportive.
The right balance must be found!
There is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to grief or sensitive topics. Brands should consider a more nuanced approach to marketing with empathy:
- Why not make opt-out options available without mass reminders of loss? Instead of prompting users repeatedly based on deeply personal matters, why not remind customers that they can set their own preferences? The choice is there without using a deeply personal experience to force an emotional response. Then perhaps the approach is taken as unauthentic.
- Why not offer permanent opt-outs? Some brands require customers to opt out every year. Having made this difficult decision feels like a fresh wound reopening annually. A one-time opt-out setting would be far more considerate if they really were thinking of me. Rather than taking an opportunity to promote to me using something that should be beyond presumptive marketing.
- Consider softer messaging. Rather than phrasing emails around ‘opting out due to loss,’ brands could reframe them as customisation options. This then makes the experience feel less about grief and more about choice.
- How dare they impose on my grief! They don’t know the circumstances of my grief, they can’t possibly understand and their intrusion doesn‘t help!
When thoughtful marketing becomes overreach
There’s a fine line between offering thoughtful options and assuming control over a customer‘s emotional journey. While the opt-out movement started with good intentions, its execution often feels like an overreach. And one that risks making grief even more prominent for those who are simply trying to carry on.
The reality is, that no brand can predict where a person is in their healing process. True empathy lies in giving customers control, not managing them into decisions they may not be ready for. As marketers, we must ask ourselves: are we truly supporting our customers, or are we just inserting ourselves into a deeply personal experience that is not ours to manage?
VI: Thoughtful marketing, genuine partnership
We believe that true marketing is about listening, understanding, and respecting the individual journeys of our clients and their audiences. We don’t dictate – we collaborate. We don’t assume – we ask. And we don’t just provide services – we build lasting partnerships.
Our clients return to us time and again because we prioritise authenticity, empathy, and strategic creativity over one-size-fits-all marketing. We understand that every brand, like every person, has unique needs—and we tailor our approach accordingly.
Are you looking for a marketing partner who values thoughtful engagement over assumptions, customised solutions over generic strategies, and genuine care over marketing trends? Then VI is the agency for you.
Let’s create something meaningful together
📩 Get in touch today. To see how we can help your brand connect with customers in a way that really matters.
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